so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
