Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
