I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
