nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
