I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
