when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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