I like my sex mixed with concussions.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
