if only i could text you this smell
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
