five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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