Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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