I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
