yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
