i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
