Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
