I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
