Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
