Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
