she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
