Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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