Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize