So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
