We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
