That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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