Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
