HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
