just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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