dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize