Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
