if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
