i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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