i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
