that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
