walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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