It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
