paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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