I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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