brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
