we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
