1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
