Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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