You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
