please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
