the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
