you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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