Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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