I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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