Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
