i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
