Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
