'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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