we're chasing vodka with high fives
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
