i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He did a backflip because drugs
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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