so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
