Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
