i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
