if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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