forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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