That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
